My broken heart...

October 22, 2015

Psalm 107: 28-30 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. 

What a whirlwind the past 48 hours have been! Joe and I are finally at a point where we can update you all on Colton. 

Colton's surgery was scheduled for Tuesday afternoon at 12 noon. We spent the entire morning cuddling and watching movies, because we had to stop feeding him at 2am so we had a very fussy baby. His IV started leaking so we had to re poke him when he was hangry! Surgery came down at 11 to get him and it all happened really fast. We walked down to the surgical floor and Joe and I are were able to go back to the pre-op room with him. We held him and cuddled him all the way up until they were ready to take him back. I rocked him and we talked to him. We cried a lot but Colton was content! 

Surgery started around 12:05 and was done by 3:30! The doctors were really pleased with the repair and said he came off of bypass really well. They brought him up to PICU and we were able to see him shortly after. I felt like I was prepared to see him, as I looked at many pictures of heart babies after surgery so I felt like I knew what to expect, but honestly, nothing prepares you to see your baby in that state. He was puffy and hooked up to  tons of IVs and machines, but we were assured it was all normal. We kissed his hand and told him how brave he was and we went to watch the Cubs game in the waiting room. 

The doctors told us that the first 24 hours after surgery would be the hardest, as this would be the time that Colton would tell us if he was able to tolerate the stress of surgery. We felt prepared for what was to come. 

At about 10:15 or so on Tuesday night, Joe and I had settled in his room and prepared for little to no sleep but we wanted to be as close to him as possible. There were lots of nurses in and out of his room, but we knew that was to be expected. But at about 10:45, things definitely started picking up and there was lots of discussion about blood pressure, oxygen levels, and heart rate. One of the cardiologists ordered an Echo and immediately saw some concerns with the fill of his heart. With his low blood pressure and low O2 levels, the cardiologist was concerned and placed a call to Coltons surgeons. Coltons surgeons agreed that something wasn't right and drove to the hospital immediately. 

It was determined that Colton would like need to be put on a bypass machine to help his heart take off some of the load so it could heal. It was a very fast and scary process but the doctors successfully placed the machine on Coltons body. They assured us that this was best for him and that in 24-48 hours, we would have a better idea of what Coltons heart would do. 

Joe and I attempted to sleep, but it was nearly impossible. The next morning at rounds, the surgeons once again said they were happy with the decision to place him on the machine, but were confident with the TOF repair. We left to go to get some sleep at the Family House. We lasted about 5 hours before we were itching to get back! When we returned, they told us he had a great day and were very pleased! We stayed to watch the cubs game with Colton, but after the 2nd inning, it was too painful so we decided Colton didn't need to hear that! :) 

The plan for Thursday was to have an echo first thing in the morning and if all looked good, he would start the process of taking him off the bypass machine. We asked all of you to once again cover him with prayer, and we specifically asked God to let Colton come off the machine when his heart was ready. 

When we arrive back to the hospital this morning, we were cautiously optimistic as they began the echo.  They turned off the machine and watched his heart work. But as they were looking, they noticed that his heart was still a little weaker than they wanted. However, the surgeon and the cardiologist said how impressed they were with how much better his heart was functioning. They said he would do well off of it, but since he had only been on one day, they wanted to give him one more day to rest up. His swelling has gone down significantly and he's starting to look more and more like our little man! 

So we once again wait. God works like that...or at least he has throughout this whole process. We had to wait for God to lead us to adoption after trying for 2 years, we had to wait to be chosen by LITERALLY the perfect birth mom, we had to wait for the surgery to fix him, and now we wait for him to tell us when he's ready. So friends, as you think about why God is making you wait, I encourage you to pray that God helps to give you a sense of peace that only He can provide. I want more than anything to see my baby's eyes and hear his coo, but I know that Gods perfect plan is working and while it's not what I want or on my timing, it's perfect nonetheless. 

I want to share with you the entire reason i wrote this post. I've written about it before and I know I will write about it again but prayer is such a powerful tool and over the past 24-36 hours I have seen it work in amazing ways. On Tuesday literally hundreds of people lifted Colton in prayer and I know that's why his surgery was so successful! Our youth pastor brought Colton a "Prayer Puppy" on Tuesday to help him know just how many people were praying for him. Later that night as we navigated the unfamiliar territory of placing him on bypass, I begged God not to take my baby from me. As we entered back into his room after the surgeons finished with putting him on the bypass machine, his Prayer Puppy was under his arm. Out of all of the wires and new tubes, that was what stood out. Our nurse said "I saw it sitting over on the chair and just felt that he needed it with him." She had no idea what it was or why it was there, but God did. So since Tuesday night, Colton has not let go of his Prayer Puppy. So as you pray, continue to think about how close that puppy is to his heart. Prayer works guys, keep praying and keep having faith that Colton will be back to himself sooner rather than later! We know that God hand picked this baby for our family, and that none of this is a surprise to Him. 

So will you please pray with us today that Coltons heart will rest today and be ready to come off ECMO tomorrow? Will you pray for guidance for the surgeons and for healing of his body as he weans off medicine and begins to wake up in the coming days?