So there we were, faced with this amazing calling; overwhelmed with a sense of peace we had yet to feel so far in this journey to become parents. We were ready for what God had in store for us next.

We spent a few weeks just taking it all in, doing lots of research and pinning on Pinterest. I had no clue where to begin but I felt so much encouragement and strength from our answered prayers that for the first time in over a year, I wasn't worried.

A mentor and amazing teacher from high school-turned friend had adopted shortly after I graduated and I sent her a random text one day asking for some contact information for the local agency she used. She was overjoyed (to say the least) and immediately sent over the info. Within hours we had an appointment set up for the first day of my Christmas break with an adoption case worker at a local agency.

We didn't know if this would be our first or our last stop at an agency but we knew that this was exactly where we were supposed to be and that the timing was perfect.

I picked Joe up from work and we made our way to the agencies office. We said a quick prayer together before we went in and walked hand in hand. We arrived at Julia's office just before lunch time and to say we were nervous would be an understatement.

She escorted us back to a conference room and we sat and talked. She asked us some questions but mostly she told us about the agency and what to expect. We had become pretty familiar with the adoption process through our research so it was nice to have that background knowledge prior to the meeting.

She gave us a stack; as in an expanding file folder full, of papers to fill out and read through and told us to contact her if we decide to fill them out. She said often she will meet with prospective parents and she won't hear from them for another few months.

Joe and I left there with great feelings but both had concerns over the wait time that she mentioned (up to 2 years) but we also know that God has given us the strength to wait this long and we know that He will provide in this situation as well.

We had lunch and I sent Joe back to work. In the meantime, I went home and slept. Just the thought of filling out that paperwork and waiting another two years had me all sorts of exhausted!

Catching Up: The Power of Prayer (Reflection)

Can I just tell you how hard it was to swallow what God had just called us to do? Adoption has always always always been something we had talked about doing. In fact, it's something we knew we wanted to do...after we were done "having kids."

Well it's just like God to laugh at our plans isn't it? Just as hard as it was to swallow the calling to adopt, it was incredibly exciting as well. Joe and I looked at each other and laughed because God not only answered our prayers, but slapped us in the face with the answer!

I have always been a "prayer," I pray every morning and always have. I know that prayer is powerful but I tell you right now that I had never truly felt the power of prayer until that moment. I don't ever remember feeling so close to God as I did at that very moment. As Christians we often feel that prayer will solve things, that prayer will fix things and in some ways it does but it also doesn't always change things the way that we have planned. Throughout this whole journey so many people have told me "God has a plan for you." I've recited Jeremiah 29:11 countless times but until I saw it actually working in my life, I did not truly understand why God was putting me through this. It's so easy to have the "why me" mentality when facing infertility and I was no exception. No matter how much I prayed or how much I said I was "giving it to God" I hadn't truly surrendered our lives and our situation to him until that week before that cold November morning.

For so long we prayed "just this one thing" God, this one thing...let us be parents. Let this month be the month, let this cycle be the one that works. But God had a different plant. All along he was preparing our hearts and our minds and our spirits to be parents...but not in the way we had planned.

So there we were...God's calling staring us in the face. 

Adoption is not for everyone. But it is for us and we would soon find out that God was ready far more than we were!

Catching Up: The Power of Prayer (The Answer)

So Joe and I began to pray. And guys I'm not just talking a "hey God, can I ask you something" kind of prayer. I'm talking about the kind of prayer that never left my tongue. The prayer that I was afraid to pray and afraid to surrender. Type A Tara was freaking out here.

I prayed each morning, in our spare bedroom (the room we had already chosen as a nursery someday), for an answer from God. I asked him...
-Where do you need me?
-What path do you want me to take?
-How do you want me to get there?
-How long will this take?
And the hardest question of all:
-Am I going to be a mom?

And y'all He responded. In a BIG way. Not that I ever doubted He would. As Christians, we know that God answers prayers. We know that He has a Plan despite any plans that we have made for ourselves. But let me tell you...nothing prepared Joe and I for what we were about to hear from our Maker.

Happy Thanksgiving 2014

Yes, that's us...outside...on Thanksgiving Day...in the snow...running. We had this crazy idea that we would run a 5K with the City of Bloomington on Thanksgiving Day which was all fine and dandy until we woke up on Thanksgiving and snow was falling from the sky. Being that I loved snow, we laced up our running shoes and bundled up for some early morning "fun" in the snow!

We survived...and I'll admit that it was incredibly fun! There were so many people there including dogs, kids, babies, and grandparents! We had a blast!

On the way home we were rushing back to shower and get ready to head to my parents' house for the day and we were joking about being the "crazy parents" that drag their kids out in this in years to come because we want to run. We always make a habit of talking about having kids not as a "what if" but more as a "when in the future" so this was a very normal conversation.

As we were talking and laughing about how our kids need to like snow, we pulled up to a stoplight at the corner of Morris and Market. Joe started slapping my arm "babe, babe, I think God heard us..."

In the words of Jeff Foxworthy....THERE's YOUR SIGN

Catching Up: The Power of Prayer (The Request)

Prayer has always been an important part of my life. Growing up my parents always encouraged my sister and I to go to God with our praises and requests. However, I never truly felt the power of prayer until this past November.

Allow me to catch you up...

We've been to the doctor and back yet again without any answers, next steps, or feelings of relief. Once again I leave with an empty feeling that only I have caused but that never seems to go away.

A few weeks ago I went in for a test that was incredibly personal and while I won't spare you the details, I will let you know that they "didn't find anything." You see, in the world of infertility, you almost pray that they do find something, anything. Because finding something means that something is wrong and can more than likely be fixed. This has yet to be the case for Joe and I. So here we are again, waiting for answers. They want me to go get my blood checked again, which I will gladly do but deep down I know that nothing will come of it. Surgery has also been a hot topic but there are so many risks and there is no guarantee that I actually need surgery. Infertility, especially unexplained infertility, is a road of "What ifs" and "let's try this" twists and turns which can often lead to dead ends or more winding roads.

Joe and I sat down this evening and asked the question that we've asked so many times over the last year and a half "so what do we do now?" Usually we talk about money, time, or logic. (Joe has a way with logic and it always seems to calm me.) Today, however, we didn't have any logic to explain or any reasoning to do. Joe simply said "I think this is a decision you need to make. It's your body." I cried, like I always do and he held me, like he always does and he said "let's just see where God takes us."

So here we are...asking God for answers. Where do we go from here?