Allow me to catch you up...
We've been to the doctor and back yet again without any answers, next steps, or feelings of relief. Once again I leave with an empty feeling that only I have caused but that never seems to go away.
A few weeks ago I went in for a test that was incredibly personal and while I won't spare you the details, I will let you know that they "didn't find anything." You see, in the world of infertility, you almost pray that they do find something, anything. Because finding something means that something is wrong and can more than likely be fixed. This has yet to be the case for Joe and I. So here we are again, waiting for answers. They want me to go get my blood checked again, which I will gladly do but deep down I know that nothing will come of it. Surgery has also been a hot topic but there are so many risks and there is no guarantee that I actually need surgery. Infertility, especially unexplained infertility, is a road of "What ifs" and "let's try this" twists and turns which can often lead to dead ends or more winding roads.
Joe and I sat down this evening and asked the question that we've asked so many times over the last year and a half "so what do we do now?" Usually we talk about money, time, or logic. (Joe has a way with logic and it always seems to calm me.) Today, however, we didn't have any logic to explain or any reasoning to do. Joe simply said "I think this is a decision you need to make. It's your body." I cried, like I always do and he held me, like he always does and he said "let's just see where God takes us."
So here we are...asking God for answers. Where do we go from here?
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