Month number 12 has come and gone like I never thought it would. Throughout this whole journey, nobody prepares you for what's coming next. I think anyone who has started a family would agree with me. Whether it took you one month, six months, or in our case, 13+ months, nothing can quite prepare you for what's to come.
Back in the fall when we had been trying for close to six months, I remember going to my doctor in tears asking him "what's wrong with me?" And he simply said "for some it just takes some time." Yeah...you're telling me. He threw out that we have to be trying for a year in order for insurance to even consider covering anything. I remembered at that time thinking that a year was so far away and that there was no way that we would make it to a year without a little baby growing. Well....month 13 is here. Nothing.
Back at the above mentioned doctor's appointment, he had me make an appointment for April to discuss our next steps. Again, it just seemed so far away but I made it for Good Friday. I knew we had off of school and I knew that I wouldn't have to go because surely I would be prego by then!
Good Friday rolled around and as Joe and I prepared for our appointment, I sat down in the shower and cried. Bawled to be exact. I was mad....mad at God for making me go through this...mad at myself for being mad at God...mad at my body for doing this to me. Just. Plain. Mad. But I picked myself up and got ready and we went. Before we walked in, Joe and I sat in the car, held hands, and prayed together. For the first time, we prayed that something would be wrong, we prayed for a fix, but we also prayed for His will to be done. (Have I mentioned that I hate not being in control?)
So we walked in, hand in hand, ready to face these next steps together. And do you know what? God heard us...he heard our cry and he provided. Our midwife ordered blood work for both of us to check hormone levels and other goods, my blood work had to be done on Day 3 of my cycle...guess what day our doctor's appointment fell on? Day 2! She ordered some labs for Joe and told us "You guys will get pregnant...sometimes we make plans and God laughs." So true!
I went and had my blood work done the next day at the hospital and God willing, I didn't pass out! They called back the following Tuesday with some answers...hypothyroid. Hooray? I had no idea what it meant but she called in a script for me and I quickly called Joe to tell him the "good news." Before I had even made it back to my desk, Joe had already sent me an email with two links to articles explaining how your thyroid can mess with fertility. Boy do I love that man! We were worried about the cost of the medicine, but we knew it was something we needed to try. I went to Walmart that afternoon to pick up my script and "no charge!" were the words that the lady told me at the counter! Hallelujah!
My new favorite worship song is "Praise you in this storm"
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